Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Somebody Call 911

Again, I love my friends! They go above and beyond to try to find my Mr. Right. You would think I had everyone on commission with all of their hard work. My good friend Dave found a hunky man that might have qualified. Dave had taken his son to the fire department to see the BIG TRUCKS. In addition to seeing BIG TRUCKS, Dave met a BIG FIREFIGHTER. Firefighter Mike was given my basic vitals and decided to give it a chance.

I got Mike’s call and we spoke briefly about how I knew Dave, how he was approached to be my future husband, and where we would meet. I was pretty excited to hear we were going for sushi. He must be a cool guy if he is man enough to take a date to a sushi restaurant. I should have known that things were a little flaky when he asked I could meet at 6:00. I confirmed 6:00 and then he texted that 7:00 was better. I confirmed 7:00 and he said 6:00 works best for him. I confirmed 6:00 – no further changes.

We met at a nice sushi bar in Uptown. I wore a really cute low cute tee, jeans, heals (the normal date outfit). I texted to tell him what I was wearing and he replied that he was wearing a white shirt and no shoes. What the ???? I found out what he meant when he arrive. He was wearing flip flops. My date was wearing flip flops, shorts and a stained button up. Ok, the man was built and good looking, but I couldn’t get past the flip flops.

It was fun talking to him and listening to some interesting stories. That is until he told me about something that happened at work last week. He had gone on a call about a non-responsive infant. Me, the eternal optimist, thought this story would end well. It was tragic for the baby that CPR did not revive the little one. I hate even typing about this. He obviously saw the look of terror on my face. I think anyone would have a tough time recovering from that.

The conversation was light after that, but it was apparent that we weren’t a match. He graciously picked up the tab and our evening ended 75 minutes after it started. It was nice that he sent a text saying he had a nice time, but that he didn’t feel like we were a match. I wish everyone provided such clear feedback.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Vegas Baby, Vegas


NEWS ALERT- Today Patti Stanger became engaged. Mother of all things matchmaking is off the market.

Patti says,
Where to meet men-
“Vegas, Baby! Not only do men love to golf, gamble, and attend bachelor parties here, but many are drawn to the big conventions “

Last weekend my girlfriends and I took a trip to Las Vegas. This was not the trip we would have taken ten years ago holed up at a Best Western eating at Waffle House for breakfast, lunch and dinner. This trip was about having a real adult vacation. We stayed at The Wynn in a double panoramic room – gorgeous! The beds had awesome linens, flat screens flanked the bedroom and bathroom walls AND the pool had saline (water and fake breasts). Friday and Saturday nights in Vegas are a far cry from Minneapolis, but we did our best to navigate the debauchery.

On Friday night we decided to have dinner at a tapas bar and then head to a club. While at the tapas bar we flirted relentlessly with Antonio. Antonio explained that he was a third-generation Las Vegas resident. Being a great service provider he flirted back and started us in a good mood. I had heard from a good friend (male) and from Antonio (our new local guide) that Pure at Caesar’s Palace was the place to go. We walked about six agonizing blocks. My four inch heals that looked amazing felt like they were tearing the flesh from my ankles. I continued on. Caesars was like a mirage in the desert promising alcohol and men.

Caesars was not a mirage. The club known as “Pure” was anything but. I would more accurately describe it as training school for tricks and hoes. The line into the club stretched longer than a boa. It was filled with twenty-somethings in barely-there clothing and feet that didn’t look bothered by four inch heels. After looking at our competition, the wait time, and the fact that we are entirely too good to stand in line for almost anything, we retreated. Leaving Pure was not that big of a deal. It was the knowledge that I had to continue walking in my shoes that were killing me one step at a time.

Thankfully one of our fellow travelers mentioned that Harrah’s had a great outdoor club. On our way we trotted (practically crawled). We arrived and took up refuge at the piano bar. After a few drinks things started to look better. Group consensus said it was time to try the outdoor club. It was pretty cool. The cover band played songs that were danceable and that we knew. Within five minutes I spotted the guy that tickled my fancy. He was leaning up against the bar. It was obvious that he was alone, looking himself, and feeling a little out of place. I said hello and flirted lightly. I then went to the dance floor recreating moves from my Carmen Electra workout video (a.k.a. strip aerobics). He was watching, smiling and it was easy from there. He grabbed two of us on the way back from the ladies room and offered to buy us drinks. Being the best wing woman ever, my friend disappeared back to the dance floor. I was left with Keith. Keith is a 38 year old from LA in Vegas on business. He was 6’5” and gorgeous. He lives in LA and is going through a divorce so long term is not in our future. However, my goal was to kiss a man in Vegas. He fits the bill. We moved to the dance floor and took part in the mating ritual known as grinding. It was fun and innocent enough. But alas, every evening must come to an end (as my feet were officially now bleeding). We said our goodbyes and shared a kiss worthy of an PG13 rating. The End.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Embarrassing Thread - The Big Maybe Update

ME
July 6 at 10:09pm
Hi Ken,I hate sending an email, but we haven’t talked about how the recent lip contact. I want to be open with what is going on in my head and hope you are comfortable doing the same. I am very much looking the person who will make the best long-term match for wacky me. I have been having fun hanging out with you but also realize that having fun doesn’t equate to the right combination. So, I wanted to do a check in with you on your thoughts. Let me know what you think. Is it weird/appropriate to hang out? I think it’s important that as a dating adult I am open and honest as there are two parties both looking for all of the risks and rewards of partnership. It’s only right that I do it in a responsible and respectful way.Jess

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HIM
July 6 at 10:35pm
Yes I enjoy hanging out with you, and I guess I was seeing where things were heading, but wasn't thinking that we were destined for marriage just yet... Ha ha! Your right we should chat about the kissing, but at the same time it sounds as though you already believe it's inappropriate? So, you let me know what you want....I know you have a lot of things going on, and figured you just wanted to enjoy each other’s company. I sent you a txt, but give me shout to discuss if you want


ME
July 6 at 10:49pm
Funny. I think I tend to over communicate, but you and I haven't gotten into the subject. I'm not saying that what we are doing is inappropriate. I'm saying that I enjoy hanging out with you I just don't think we will end up hanging out till death do us part. I just wanted to make sure that I was communicating with you where I'm at. Heck, you probably aren't even close to thinking about next steps....I'm just being a certifiable freak star.I'm not saying we can't or shouldn't hang out, I just wanted to make sure I communicated appropriately (in case you were already picking out baby names) Joke of course. We can talk in person...it's kind of hard via text and email. Sorry to start the conversation this way!



ME
Today at 7:59am
Morning!So, I have officially acted like an idiot. I do enjoy your company. I'm having fun. Maybe I shouldn't have made it into anything more than it needs to be. I'll stop being such a girl now.Jess



HIM
Today at 8:09am
You mean I need to stop wedding ring shopping??? Damn!!! J/KPart of my resolution.... including the getting new job, and selling the house, was to live in the now! I'm really not trying to think about meeting the "one" and settling down in the next year...it will happen when it happens. I'm just looking to meet some great people have some fun, do new things, and just enjoy life. Besides, you’re the one who a) has to finish up with her MBA (you question that every time I see ya :P), and b) has told me in the past your relationships only last 3 months anyway, so the way I look at it, let’s just enjoy each other’s company for the rest of the summer, by fall I will be tired of you and your freak star ways.....and dump you anyway....ha ha!!!! (hope the sarcasm comes through in email) or was it that you dump them???? HmmmmmEither way....don’t worry about it....but I guess getting back to the point that originally brought up this question....lip contact? Does that continue or not? I can handle it if you can ;)Have a great day! And next time just call before you go freak star on me....ha haKen




HIM
Today at 8:11am
No worries.....I like seeing you worked up a little!!! I wrote the previous message as a response to yours from last night...and now I see you sent me another one....let’s just have fun if you’re ok with that???Have a great day....and fun with studying tonight? That tutor really made you think last night!


ME
Today at 8:28am
So- I got all worked up about nothing! So typically me. I feel better now (not cured, but better).I like your view.Jess


HIM
Today at 8:34am
so do you still want to get together this week (if and when you have time??) I don’t want to stress you out too much...but if we don’t exchange and email or two a day and keep the communication open....you start to think too much ;)oh...and we can keep it to just lip contact if you want.....I think you told me you snore terribly so I’m not sure if I would want to spend the night with ya!!! ha ha!



ME
Today at 12:02pm
Yes, I still want to get together. We might have to push to Sunday or next week. I have my final on Wednesday and will likely be working on Econ and packing on Thursday night. I do snore. It's really not worth it :)

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Puma or Cougar? You tell me!


Puma as defined in Urban Dictionary as a woman who is not quite old enough to be a cougar, but still likes to date/mate with younger men. The scary part is that a cougar is described as a woman over 35 who dates younger men and I’m 34.5.

On Wednesday I went out with a man all of 25. I should note that I am very happy that my friends are setting me up on dates in hope of finding my Mr. Right. Unfortunately, he isn’t my Mr. Right.

It was a beautiful evening in Minneapolis. We don’t get many days that are perfect for sitting outside on a patio. I was lucky enough to spend the evening at an early happy hour at Brit’s on their rooftop patio. I met the young buck through a good friend and her husband. It is their goal that I find a good man who will adore me. I think they were on a good path (if I was ten years younger). This guy was cute and sweet and will make a very good husband someday. However, I knew that he wouldn’t be my husband after some conversation. One of his favorite movies is Dumb and Dumber. He hadn’t ever seen one of mine which is Sixteen Candles. He lives with his parents (interim only) as his college roommate just got married and the other one moved away. We spent two nice hours in the sun enjoying cider beer, appetizers and light exchanges. We both knew those two hours would never be repeated. After happy hour we parted without the obligatory, “I’ll call you”. I am happy that it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. It was just two people trying everything they can to find their perfect match.

I would love this kiss

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqTvgeZOsN8

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Ten Must Haves

Patti says,

“You need to decide what your deal breakers are, and you must never ever lick the earlobe of anyone that doesn’t add up. To better define your own deal breakers, try the following exercise:”
Five important categories and my priorities

Spiritual
Open
Believes what comes around goes around
Moral compass intact
Optimistic

Physical
Tall
Thinner/good shape
Smells good
Likes to touch
Good hygiene

Emotional
Verbalizes needs
Asks probing questions
Able to talk on the phone
Able to give verbal affirmation

Intellectual
College educated
Life-long learner
Open to discussion and new ideas
Socially liberal

Financial
Not frugal
Limited to no debt
Savings and retirement
Job that affords moderate to high lifestyle

I can tell already that my needs/wants are more towards the physical and emotional categories. So now Patti’s has tasked me to list the top ten must-haves.
Verbalizes needs
Optimistic
Tall
Thinner/good shape
College educated
Job that affords moderate to high lifestyle
Socially liberal
Likes to touch
Able to give me verbal affirmation
Good hygiene
Patti goes on to say, “The top five entries on that list are your FIVE NON-NEGOTIABLES, and you cannot compromise on these. They are the most important traits in a mate, and if the guy your seeing doesn’t have them, you need to move on. Yesterday. No exceptions.”

I don’t know if my non-negotiable are finalized, but it’s a good starting point.

Update to my life (Patti is on holiday this week)

I have built the coffee shop man magnet up so much in my head. I have decided he is likely an artist, my age, a transplant to Minneapolis searching for true love. According to my research I cannot verify if any of these facts is true. Trevor (yes, the puppy has a name) has turned into a part-time obsession. I have spent time Google stalking a near complete stranger. With three pieces of information – first name, place of employment, and job title I have been able to find out interesting tidbits on my hottie of the week. Who am I kidding? He has been on my short list for almost two weeks.

I’ve also realized I have been seeing things. About a week ago I could have sworn I saw him at a competing coffee shop. For fear of being noticed (and labeled a stalker) I didn’t get my coffee there. I have however driven by said coffee shop three of the past four nights. BINGO – Tonight I saw him in the window and decided I was going for it. I grabbed a latte and sauntered/nervously staggered towards him. You know what? It wasn’t him. Here I am now writing this stupid blog looking at a doppelganger that is nowhere near as attractive as coffee shop boy. What have I become? Hey, don’t answer that!

Back to Plan B. (we all know I have no plan b)
Let me know if it is wrong to post coffee shop man's photo