Sunday, August 30, 2009

Update to Curse

I thought I would update anyone who is remotely interested in my Lame-O dating life about what happened to Sam. Well, as it turns out, I did receive an email stating he had mixed feelings about seeing me again. I don't exactly know what "mixed feelings" are, but they can't be good. I'm pretty sure it's another version of, "he's just not that into you". I responded letting him know that's part of meeting someone and figuring what does and doesn't work. I let him know that I do find him fun/funny and attractive and the ball is in his court.


Theme song of the day- Another One Bites the Dust.

The only silver lining of this week (as dating is concerned) is that tomorrow I am going to get professional photos taken for online dating. Patti stated this is an integral part of the process. I will spend today finding the perfect outfits making me look cute, slightly sexy, fun, and smart. If you have an idea of an outfit that will portray all of these things please let me know. Tomorrow will be filled with professional hair and make-up help. Fun fun! I'll post the pictures once I have them.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Cursed, Foiled Again, Cursed, Cursed, Cursed.

I am cursed. I have found that I have a knack for falling in love after 30 minutes and then being surprised when I am “phased out” three dates later. Case in point, farm boy Sam.

Last week I had date number two with Sam. We were set to go to the racetrack (yes, this harkens to a previous date with Brian earlier in the summer), however it rained. Instead we decided to go out for pizza and watch a movie. Pizza and conversation were great. I love learning about new people. I love when a guy seems super interested and can’t look at me enough. I love the newness and awkwardness of a new relationship.

We had our first attempt at disclosure after dinner. I fessed up to a divorce many years ago. He admitted to having a girlfriend (on the way out) the night we met. He said he called her the next day to make it an official break up before asking me out. Things were going on the normal dating path.

After dinner we cuddled on the couch and watched The Soloist. The movie was pretty slow, but things heated up pretty fast. It was very chaste, but the chemistry was good. It was so nice just to cuddle up to someone on the couch on a rainy day and watch a movie. That tingle in your toes tension was there, the energy was there, everything looked positive, right? Fast forward…again.

On Sunday we decided to go to the lake for a picnic. How much more romantic can it get? I packed a nice lunch, a blanket, etc. and we headed to a perfect spot. We were both enjoying an absolutely perfect Sunday afternoon. During the last full month of summer we savored the sun and warm weather. It was a little odd when he relaxed so much that he fell asleep. I’m trying to tell myself that it is great that he is comfortable with me, but really, it probably means he’s not interested. That’s right – he’s just not that into me!!!

We hung out for a couple of hours and then headed back to my place. He was very nice and walked me up and gave me a quick kiss goodbye. He said he would call tomorrow. Well, it’s officially tomorrow at 9:00 PM and he hasn’t called. He emailed today and said thanks for the relaxing day and he was sorry he was tired, but he didn’t ask for another date or go past that. Ugh, a curse I tell you.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Country Mouse (Sam) meets City Slicker (me)

Ok friends, drum roll please! I met a nice guy from a small town in the middle of nowhere. Let me give you the history (brief as it might be). I was at a concert with a couple of guy friends last week on Thursday. The bar was crowded with primarily men. There were a plethora of male bartenders not too eager to pour libations in a quick like manner for these poor thirsty men. One man towered over the others and caught my eye. I used my womanly ways (bending over the bar with a slinky tank top) to get the immediate attention of one of the bartenders. I was served within 30 seconds and made sure to get an extra beer for the mystery stranger. The mystery stranger, Sam, introduced himself and thanked me. We chatted for a minute and then he disappeared.

I thought that was the end of him until he came back towards the bar a half hour later. He offered to return the favor and buy me a drink. I declined. Anyone who knows me understands my inability to handle more than two cocktail in a night. We talked for about five or ten minutes and at the end he asked for my number. To my surprise he texted me a couple of hours later letting me know that he did intend to pursue me.

On Friday night Sam called me. I felt like a scared teenager getting her first call from the hunky quarterback. But, within about a minute I felt comfortable and at ease. It felt so good to sit back and let him lead the conversation. I learned from Patti to make sure that I let the man lead (remember the debacle a couple of months ago when I didn’t follow her advice and lost Brian forever?). Sam led me right into his little plot of a date on Sunday.

Sunday I was picked up at 5:00PM and whisked away for a nice walk by Minnehaha Falls. This was a very great idea for a first date other than the fact that my ex-boyfriend owns the restaurant at Minnehaha Falls. I felt it would be a one in a million chance that we would run into each other and I didn’t mention that fact. On the way to the Falls Sam asked if I had been to restaurant X. Yikes! I had to fess up about the situation for fear that he was going to take me there for dinner. He was really cool about it and we opted to still head that way. Walking is a great way to get acquainted with someone. We were able to share silly stories and learn fun facts. My fun facts were fairly tame like that I’m working on my MBA, I volunteer, etc. His fun facts included his work at a meat lab in college where he killed pigs and cows, how he counted worms as a childhood job, and a blow by blow account of a fight in college (he didn't hit anyone). We ended the walk when it became apparent that I could no longer walk (note to self- do not wear cute flats that dig the flesh of your feet when a guy says to be comfortable).

We were off to dinner and he picked a Tibetan place that I wanted to try. Awesome! I love when a guy things out of the box. After spicy food and a few laughs we were heading back to my place. He was planning to drop me, but I easily convinced him to come up to my place for a drink. We spent an hour on my patio sharing a bottle of wine and more stories. It was pretty darn romantic. Cliché as it is, I had music playing, a candle and the wine. We started getting comfortable together. I was so comfortable that I rested my feet on his legs. I don’t know what possessed me to do it, but I randomly leaned over and kissed him. I didn’t feel the tectonic plates moving, but there was definitely something there. We finished the wine and slowly made our way to the door. He gave me a nice kiss goodbye and promised to call the next day and that we would go out later in the week.

Fast forward- He called the next day and we are going out again on Thursday. I’m giddy when I talk about him, but have also consulted my must-have list. See below:
Let’s go through the list (after one date). Yes, I am psycho.
Verbalizes needs – has already let me know that he won’t settle, wants to be happy with a partner, etc.
Tall- 6’5”
Thinner/good shape- he’s in great shape, little to no body fat, swims and is active.
College educated – Ag Major at the U of M
Job that affords moderate to high lifestyle – I’m thinking no. Lives in the basement of his friend’s home. Does must-have really mean “must-have”?
Socially liberal- Unsure yet.
Likes to touch- Yes
Gives verbal affirmation – Yes- Sends cute texts
Good hygiene- Yes- he even has nice feet
I can tell already that my needs/wants are more towards the physical and emotional categories. So now Patti’s has tasked me to list the top ten must-haves.Verbalizes needsOptimisticTallThinner/good shapeCollege educatedJob that affords moderate to high lifestyleSocially liberalLikes to touchAble to give me verbal affirmationGood hygienePatti goes on to say, “The top five entries on that list are your FIVE NON-NEGOTIABLES and you cannot compromise on these. They are the most important traits in a mate, and if the guy your seeing doesn’t have them, you need to move on. Yesterday. No exceptions.”

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Love on Craigslist?

Patti says,
“Online: There’s no shame anymore in meeting people on internet dating sites. It expands your options worldwide and allows you to meet people you’d never come in contact with otherwise.”

This entry is a cautionary tale. Let’s face it- I’m starting to feel the frustration of being single. It seems that everywhere I go couple are laughing, holding hands, and sharing priceless intimate moments. I on the other hand have resorted to looking for love on Craigslist. I found a seemingly good catch online while sitting at home last weekend. (Note to reader- it’s never a good indicator if on a Saturday night you are online looking for love.)
His ad promised a few things:
1. 5’11” , 160 lb
2. Cute, in fact, some people say hot
3. Fun, educated, etc.
I responded to his ad (Patti would not approve to a woman responding to a man’s ad). We shared a couple of emails, graduated to IM, and then spoke on the phone. All information pointed to him being a person I would want to meet. We decided to meet on a Wednesday night for dinner. He offered to pick me up. In less than good judgment gave him my address. I made sure to be “safe”. I sent his contact information to a co-worker, called the restaurant to confirm he made a reservation, googled him and finally carried a scissors in my purse.

When I saw him at my front door I realized I was over my head. I don’t think he was 5’11”, he looked different than his photo, and he didn’t look as trendy or professional as I had imagined. I promised my friend I would send her his license plate number (safety first). He noted that most people ask what his personalized license plate means. I made the mistake of asking what the plates mean. In a very serious tone he explained it was his HAMM radio call sign. There are local HAMM radio clubs, etc. Interesting- for some.

We went to a restaurant I had never been to. It was a good place for a first date both quaint and quiet. The conversation went well, but there was no connection. He picked up the tab and was a gentleman. He dropped me off and said we’d talk soon.

I should say that I do know it’s hard to put yourself out there. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him to post an ad, meet a cute stranger, etc. I just want to find my Prince Charming. These men I have been dating are not frogs, they just aren’t my match. Yet.