WWPD?

Patti says,

“The woman who gives more than the man in a relationship reverses the masculine/feminine roles. First the man will appreciate it, then he’ll expect it, and eventually he’ll resent it.”

Continued

“Also, she who touches money gives off masculine energy, so you can’t physically touch cash before his eyes or whip out plastic to pay the check. Why? Because, as I’ve noted, the man is the hunter, the woman is the gatherer, and the man is supposed to provide for the woman. So if she begins providing for him, it throws off the balance”.

I am a rational, independent, financially stable woman. I want to say that over and over until everyone listens. I thought I knew better than Patti (and perhaps I do), but none-the-less, not following her advice put me in dating limbo; it’s the single girl’s version of purgatory.

It all began a week ago today. I knew I would be out of town last weekend and REALLY wanted to see Brian. I opted to play a bit aggressive and ask him out. I explained that I didn’t want it to be an “official” date, but was excited to see him. On Thursday night he picked me up and we had dinner at The Liffey (a fun patio location downtown St. Paul). Things were going well (I think). We shared a burger and salad and had a few laughs. The bill came and I plopped down my Amex Gold. UGH. Just replaying this in my mind is pissing me off.

We then were off to have a little adventure. I planned for us to rock climb in an indoor gym. I was hoping to see him in all of his athletic glory while helping me learn something new. My plan was flawless, or so I thought. He had already been a certified climber which meant he could help me, but I couldn’t help him. This relegated us to the kiddie climbing walls. While enjoyable, something felt “off”. We didn’t have the physical energy from prior dates. He didn’t accidently brush up against me or even attempt to seduce me with one of his mind blowing kisses. Something was amiss. Neither one of us made mention of it.

He drove me home and this is where I turned into a bumbling idiot. I asked if he wanted to come up for a beer. It was about 10:00 PM and he said he had an early workout so he needed to pass. In retrospect he really stayed on his side of the car not leaning over for the obligatory goodbye kiss. Being the spitfire that I am I requested a kiss. He obliged, but it wasn’t the same. As I got out of the car he said he would call me Sunday when I was back in town. Clue #1 he’s just not into me- he said no to coming up to my place. Clue #2- HE SAID NO TO COMING UP TO MY PLACE!

Fast forward to today. It’s Tuesday. He hasn’t called. I’m an emotional basket case wondering how one guy could have my panties in a bunch after a couple of dates and PG make out sessions. What is wrong with me? Where is this rational and independent woman I speak of?

In my irrational state of being I texted him last night. He replied today that he had a fun busy weekend and now is in Washington. My text back said, “State or DC? Have fun! Let me know if you want to catch up…or did that count as our 4th date? Don’t work too hard.” (The reference to the fourth date is that he has said he generally knows by the fourth date if a relationship will ensue). He responsed via text, “State. Seattle.Sweet.” What does that mean? Sweet he won’t work too hard? Sweet he is madly in love with me? Sweet- you understand this isn’t going anywhere? Please someone whip out your man text decoder ring and help!

So, here I am in dating purgatory. I’m trying to tell myself that not everyone is a match. That I will find my Prince Charming and that he will kiss me so passionately that I can’t think straight. I’m also telling myself that unless he calls crying about how sorry he is and shows up with flowers and chocolates I won’t see him again. I want to make a clean break and shout, “he’s dead to me”. I know I won’t be that strong. I know for the next week I will check my phone in hopes that he calls or texts.

Moral of the story: NA. I don’t think this had anything to do with my paying for dinner. However, I vowed to follow Patti’s advice and must now do it. Before all relevant decisions on what I should do next I will ask myself WWPD*. I would like to give credit to Kristy for coining that phrase.

*What Would Patti Do?